just a little less sane than yesterday

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

le commute

Remeber what I said in my last post about sitting placidly in the airport waiting for some nice man to announce that my flight was ready to leave? Well... Im sure the latter happened, but I was not sitting placidly when it did. Not by a long shot. That friday was to date the shittiest day Ive ever had. And when I say shit, I dont mean tiny little bird doo or even dog crap. Im talking diseased 62 year old elephant with indigestion shit.

8:00-
got up with a mixture of butterflies and anxiety. I had learned the day before that I had to revise my research paper and would need to spend some time in the library. But before that, I was assigned to 2 hours of community service for forgetting to wear my I.D. and not getting away with it. Oh... lovely. I made my way to RSF to look for statistics on the internet, and had a heck of a time finding a computer. After standing around like a dork for what must have been 10 minutes, silently cursing the people who had gotten there ahead of me, I was able to find a computer with no internet connection. great. by the time I did find a computer and a page of statistics, I looked up at the clock to see that it had already struck 9:00 my designated community service time. I signed off in a hurry printed the pages and jiggled off to ADSA...

9:30
They sent me to the Cervini business center, where they plunked me down in a chair and had me watch over the boys who came in to use the computers. Needless to say, none of them were the slightest bit pretty and having to sit down in one place for two hours with practically nothing to do and no onone to talk to isnt good for already frazzled nerves. I forgot to get the names of the people who came in. Under the coloumn for "customer" I ended up putting things like: Tolosa's student, guy with the afro, guy in blue striped shirt, bald guy, japanese anime guy.... It was rather ridiculous really. something screwed up with whatever the guys were printing... I ended up with 13 pages of "wastage" paper... Looking at the previous records, I discovered that it was an all time high. whoopdeedo for me. >.<; I was supposed to leave at 11:00 but i didnt know if I sould leave until the administrator lady came back... she didnt show up until 11:53 and it wasnt exactly a happy reunion when she counted the waste papers...

12:00
Food. The one saving grace of the day. My eyes were still puffy from my cold that had only let up the day before, and I felt the need to dunk my head into a barrel of ice water, but the food seemed to help. Crissy and her friend Crystal showed up after a while. Crystal was in for community service too. They made her alphabetize the records at cervini. It occurs to me that those things are supposed to already be organized alphabetically. Does that mean that they messed it up just so that she could alphabetize it again? ehhh...

1:00
Went to the lib and ran around looking for relevant resource material. didnt really find any.

3:00
got back to the dorm and had them call me a taxi for the airport. I spent the next hour sitting in the waiting area with my nerves eating me up inside. I started talking nonstop to crissy who I had recruited to take down the taxi's liscence plate and the drivers name. "shit. Im going to miss my flight. I sense that I am going to miss my flight. What do you mean calm down? I am calm. If the taxi isnt here in the next 3 minutes THEN youll see me needing to be calm. right now Im fine. I just cant stop talking. Im not entirely certain why, maybe it has something to do with the fact that IM GOING TO MISS MY FLIGHT...." it went on like this for the next hour. The taxi was no where to be seen.

4:00
I couldnt take it anymore. I knew that I wouldnt be able to get a taxi on time and was starting to panic (okay maybe I had started panicking a while ago... lets just say I kicked it up a notch). There was a voice in the back of my head... It was Manong Erics voice. The taxi driver who took me to the airport last time.. "Kung ganahan sad ka makalakaw ug dali, mas maayo gamiton nimo ang LRT... wala man gud siyay traffic dai, nya mas makatipid pa ka ana..." (If you want to get somewher quuickly, it would be better if you used the LRT... It doesnt have any traffic you see, plus its cheaper...) This was ringning in my brain as I hopped on a tricicad and ordered him to make his way to the LRT. I was dragging my huge red duffel bag with me and it was freakishly heavy. I was huffing when I got onto the train and landed a seat. people were looking at me funny becuase of all my baggage. I was on my way to recto and from there I would get a taxi. I looked around nervoulsy when I got on to the train. I have only ever been on an LRT 3 times in the past, always with people from manila who took the LRT all the time and knew exactly where they were going. This time, I was alone save for Alice (who doesnt count since shes a guitar.) If I had any chance of getting on that plane, this was it.

4:30
The train ride had been uneventful albeit a little strained with the tension and peppered with alternating bouts of apprehension and despair. At least I didnt have to worry about anyone bothering me. I was seated snugly between an older gay man and the compartment wall. The little gay man had little boots a handbag and a big shiny watch. He had his pudgy manicured fingers resting peacefully in his lap and he seemed pleasant enough. At recto... I wasnt at all sure about what I was supposed to do, the helpful people at the station told me to hop onto LRT1 so that I could get to EDSA faster. I thankfully rushed off, and got to some sort of overpass structure. my shoulders were starting to ache from lugging around all my stuff. when I saw how far away the other line was I almost screeched. I was a little worried about where the hell I was, and it occured to me that if I got lost here I'd be doubly screwed. The panic that had receded on the line 2 ride quickly swelled up again. Thankfully nobody gave me any trouble. I felt harassed and I think it showed. I started muttering under my breath and cursing everything in sight. They probably sensed that if they bothered me they'd have a fiasco. Which is just what i would have given them.
Now, LRT line 2 is a pleasant train, bright and cool with purple detailing. and I was wondering why anyone would complain about the LRT. They kept on saying that it was crowded and hot and smelly, not to mention that it lurched around as if it was going to throw you off any minute. Apparently they were reffering to line 1 as I soon found out. I had been on the train for almost 15 minutes and I was getting jittery. Just then this lady got off the train and told me to sit in her seat. I didnt want to sit down. i expected to be getting off soon. "uhmmm... excuse me po, sunod na ba yung EDSA diba?" The other passenger just looked at me incredelously as if I was the most idiotic creature that she had ever laid eyes on. I looked around frantically for someone who would actually answer the question and this pleasant old man in the back mouthed at me "malayo pa." I turned around only to find that the seat that had recently been proffered to me was now occupied. My heart sank. It was quarter to 5:oo and my flight was scheduled to leave at 5:30.

5:00
I was on the verge of tears. Almost all the hope within me had died in the last 10 minutes. Just then the train stopped again and that friendly older gentleman from the back of the LRT got off. I felt as if my only ally was deserting me. He looked back over his shoulder and signed at me encouragingly. Only 2 more stops before EDSA. He gave me a small smile and a thumbs up. I almost cried then. I had been feeling like crap personified and this unexpected kindness was somehow overwhelming. I wondered briefly if he had ever been stuck in a situation like this before and was returning a kindness that was done to him back then. I gave an inward smile to myself as the train pulled into the EDSA station. If thats how it was I'd be sure to pass it on.

5:20
From the station I was able to hail a cab and make it to the airport and they did give me my ticket. But when I got to the counter they said that they couldnt help me. They had closed off my flight and I wouldnt be able to go home. The best they could do for me was make sure that I didnt get stuck with a no-show fine. At this point I had hardly expected anything else but it still hurt to hear it finalized. The pristine surroundings in the airport seemed to pale and blur as suffocating pain seemed to squeeze at my heart. apparently I was crying.

5:45
I quickly got my receipt and thanked the clerk who smiled at me apologetically. My flight was quickly rescheduled to the next day at 9:00. I turned on my heel and wiped off my tears as I wheeled my little trolley off to the elevator. I would not be going home today. The lost child within me had had just about enough. i was more peeved and frustrated than I had been in years and was more than ready to throw a tantrum. All that for nothing. The hell of manila commuting for nothing. I had so been looking forward to being home. To hugging my parents and seeing the rest of my family. Being fed my favorite comfort food and sleeping in my own bed. I had wanted so badly to go home. And I still wanted it. I got into the elevator breathing heavily wating for the door to close.

5:50
As soon as the doors closed I let out a little scream of frustration the tears flowing anew. I kicked the elevator and glared around looking for a camera that I could scowl into practically daring them to reprimand me. If anyone was watching I wanted them to know that right now that I didnt give a shit since I already felt like it. I brushed the back of my hand over my eyes in time for the opening of the elevator doors and stepped out trying to look nonchalant even though all i wanted to do was run back into the elevator and have a good cry. When the guard at the door wanted me to present the tags for my bags I snapped and replied nastily. "I would have tags IF I had actually gotten on a plane! however I missed mine so I would appreciate it if you didnt give me anymore trouble. If you insist on harrasing me about my bags Id be glad to see your supervisor!" I havn't used verbal lashings (which seem particularly effective in straight English or Bisaya) since I was in grade school. I had been exceptionally nasty back then and part of this supressed nature was peeking through and frankly I didn't give a damn. I glared him down and stalked off when he let me pass. I had smoothly transitioned from denial to depression and straight on into anger, though its not really supposed to be in that order.

6:15- 11:30
The next step is bargaining. I dont really know how I really got through that step. The only barganing I did was with a taxi driver over the price to makati. He turned out to be another bisdak guy and I marveled at how 3 out of the last 4 taxi rides I had in Manila were with bisaya drivers. AS soon as they learned I was bisaya too they started prattling off in bisdak, and somehow I found that strangely reassuring. I learned later from my mother that I seem to have a clearly bisaya twang of an accent, thus cluing the drivers in on my promdi status. And here I was thinking that I had been doing well with my tagalog impressions. hahahaha ;p
It had been arranged that I would stay with Auntie Moni for the night and she would have me picked up at makati. Specifically at rustans. With the traffic I wasnt there until an hour later and Auntie Moni's driver Mr. Carding wasnt there until 8:00. Then it took us another half hour or so to get to Auntie Moni's house.When she heard that I had missed my flight and would have to go back to Ateneo nalang, Auntie Monie had intervened and insisted that I stay with her for the night. This was very nice of her and made me feel slightly awkward. Shes not my actual aunt and so I felt a little embarassed for impigning on her hospitality. Eventually I reached acceptance and spent the night in the company of Julia watching Just my Luck. :) It seems appropriate in retrospect.

And here we have the story of my last day in Manila. I intend to cut off this obscenely long narrative here... so I can start another one.. :)

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Wala na

Theres a certain sort of comfort that comes from the feeling of your fingers puttering languidly across a clackety keyboard. Its a comfort that I had almost forgotten. with the barage of papers and all the computer related requirements I was even starting to associate the keyboard with stress and that feeling of desperation you get when you have yet to start your paper, and the deadline is within the next 48 hours. Ahhh... finals week. You came, and I suffered. But now, its over. Officially over. By this time on friday, I will be sitting placidly in the airport, waiting for the pleasant call man to announce my flight number. In less than 40 hours, I will leave Manila, return to Cebu, and bum my ass off for 2 whole blissful weeks.

I will watch 2 boatloads of movies, fry my brain with TV shows, pig out on home cooked meals, read the half dozen or so books that Ive been dying to read, laag with my family and friends, take long hot baths, squeeze my pats within an inch of their lives, update my loooonnng negected devart account and sleep so long that I start to collect dust. Ahhhh yes... The joys of bumdom are within my reach... Soon to be mine! MWAHAHAHAHA.... I have officially survived my first semester, away from home as a college freshman in the dreaded BMH course. I fully intend to use the 2 weeks for recuperation.

Wala na!! FINALS WEEK (and practically the semester) IS OVER!!! It bears repeating, really it does...

With that said, I shall now return to the place that I have come to call home for the past few months. and I will try to get a headstart on some of these things--particularly the sleep and the reading. Those are a couple things that simply cant wait. :D