Reawakening

Oh look at that... its a proper title. nyahaha. For once I'm not free-writing a post. This one has a purpose! Shocking? hoho... but first a little backstory.

A little over one year ago, my sister and a few of her friends (who are at present my friends as well... gikawat/ankon nako yehey) spent the summer in Manila as cross reg students in U.P. Diliman. Under the overwhelming influence of the male members of the group (RJ, Jego.. hooray for contagious addiction :D) the female element got sucked into the mind blowingly awesome world of... Dungeons and Dragons.

To those of you who think that DnD is geeky/nerdy/lame... you are requested to leave this post and bugger off immediately on pain of heavy bludgeoning from a 1d4 19-20/x2 critical club with a +3 melee attack bonus... I also have the option of biting you.

As you can probably tell, I was sucked into the game as well. though really I'm still at the ultra noob level... Character gen still takes a while (especially the combat stats) and I've only played 2 campaigns over 3 sessions. Since the group disbanded at the end of summer and retreated to their various provinces, I haven't had anyone to play with. *retreats to sulk in the corner of the playground clutching the PHB*
My entire first sem was a desolate, accounting and calculus stricken wasteland devoid of the sublime joys of RPing. Thus I drifted away from the game, the pdf files for the core books -- in the CD my brother had thoughtfully included in my care package -- left unopened. Recently though, I've been feeling tugs and flashed opportunities to start playing again.

Firstly, I discovered (quite by accident) a number of people in my network, outside of the original group, who play the game. And couple of weeks ago, I was informed of a monthly gaming con-- Residencia 8888 pearl drive ortigas center. (I missed the May session though.. NSTP haunts me still) and I will miss the June session, since I will be physically estranged from Manila at the time of the con. I have resigned myself to that but find solace in the thought that it is after all once a month, so its not that bad :)
Also, RJ is planning to set up a campaign based on his Castle Ruthven post http://voynich.multiply.com/journal/item/62/The_Castle_Ruthven?replies_read=36. If my computer weren't such a temperamental bitch (vistaaaaaa why??) and I didn't have finals to fuss over, I'd have generated my character and intro already. but it seems those will have to wait a bit... just a bit :)

And now, I give you the reason for my post.

Hear ye, Hear ye! Game Crab Boardgame Cafe will be hosting a FREE
Gaming Weekend on June 13 & 14. From 11am to 10pm (for these 2 days),
everyone gets to play for FREE! Please visit
http://gamecrabcafe.com/ for more details!

Game Crab is found in Katipunan Avenue, in front of Ateneo, just above the Yellow Cab restaurant.

One of RJ's friends is going to be helping out with the D&D intro runs. It's like a slightly belated birthday present or something...




I'm glad you can't see how wide my smile is right now. It's scary. :D

Awake...

...at an ungodly hour for the umpteenth time this week. My sleeping patterns are shot to hell no doubt about it. They have been for a while really. I get out of bed at 7 in the morning for class, putter around in a half-daze til noon, loose conciousness around an hour later and wake up in time for my roommate's evening pre-slumber ritual. I've been feeling a bit lonelier than usual lately, but then again thats probably to be expected from someone who wakes up in time to say goodnight to the rest of the world.

But it's more than that.

A lot of my friends are making preparations to leave. Several of my good friends are running around trying to get their papers for the Junior Term Abroad, one is leaving for Canada with his family, another just graduated this year, one's going to the States to pursue evolutionary psych, and yet another is heading back to study in Cebu. Permanent or otherwise, is it really childish of me to confess that I feel like I'm being abandoned with so many of my friends leaving? Probably.
I've never been good at goodbyes. I don't like having to be the one to end conversations, hang up the phone or walk away from a friend after a night out together. At partings I use expressions like "take care" and "ingat" "see you" or "good night" when applicable. "Drive safely" became a standard once I started getting dropped off at the dorm by college friends with cars. Contractions like "bye" and "buhbye" are easier to say too. Nothing so final or formal as a goodbye.
goodbyes always give me this peculiar feeling. The image that comes to mind is of the tiny, almost imperceptible pop of a disconnect as a suction cup is being pulled off of a glass pane. A miniscule internal bubble bursting and releasing a propportionate sense of loss. I wonder how big these bubbles will be. I wonder what it will feel like to say goodbye to friends I won't see for half a year, knowing that when they get back they'll probably be different. . .I wonder what a real, honest to goodness I'm-never-going-to-see-you-again goodbye is going to feel like. I wonder what I'm going to feel then.. when I already feel so alone now.

Or maybe the lack of sleep is just screwing around with my hormones, and making me all morose and moody. That at least I can do something about. So I close my eyes, curl up in my ridiculously plush bed with Francis the Frog tucked safely in the crook of my arm, and hope that things will seem better in the morning.








...or afternoon, depending on when I wake up.

"Oww.."

"..What's this?" says the Gani-Bear. She pulls the dart from her rump as a jeep screeches away; maniacal laughter trailing in its wake. Perplexed, she examines the pointed object in her claws and squints at the words "Tag! Love, Crissy." printed along its length, in elegant, curling script. "Huh.." She hobbles off to her cave with the awkward gait of someone who has recently been shot in the ass, selects a double barreled shot gun and shoots the following 11 people before surreptitiously running away into the forest:
Tara, Dea, Aids, Alyx, Ara, Claire, Joan, Trish, Mel, Andrew, Ishee

And here ends the extended metaphor.

This is another (uber long) tag post that I'm going to indulge in since 1. According to the rules of engagement, those tagged cannot refuse. and 2. I'm hiding from my histo reading assignment. shhhhhh... So anyway, rules say: Answer all questions and change one that you don't like for one of your own, and tag 11 other people who can do nothing but submit to your tagging authority. You're probably thinking, "Samuka oi, 11 pa jud ka tao iyang gi damay" (edit: or you would if you were bisaya) The thing is, the rules don't say that I have to tell them they've been tagged; so unless they find out on their own, I don't think they really have to do anything about me tagging them. So they're safe as long as they don't read my blog, and therefore I'm not doing as much damage as the people who started this would like. Haha take that.. (passive aggressive resistance? :) what for, I have no idea...) anyway on with the post "proper" (though when my posts are ever proper is oh about... never.)

1. If your lover betrayed you, what would your reaction be?
If he (hypothetically) betrayed me I'd (hypothetically) rip out his guts and use them to decorate a Christmas tree as prescribed in old Germanic tribal tradition....hypothetically..

2. What will you do if you do not share the same feelings as the person who likes you?
Be honest about it, introduce them to the concept of squelching and try my best to avoid being alone with them.

3. What's your take on same-sex marriages?
These people love each other enough for the technicalities and problems of their union (in a society oppossed to it) not to bother them and they laugh in th face of convention. I salute.

4. Are you confused as to what lies ahead of you?
Yes, very much so.

5. What's your ideal lover like?

Hooo boy thats a whole 'nother post altogether... ;p

6. Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone else?
Being loved by someone. You can never truly love if you've never been loved so the cycle of "blessedness" starts there.

7. If the person you like does not accept you, will you continue to wait for them to change their feelings?
No. That's just sad, and demeaning. Squelch and move on to better, happier things. Getting hung up over someone who doesn't return your affections is a grand (and rather painful) waste of time.

8. If the person you secretly like is already attached, what would you do?
Back away. As a rule I try to avoid conflict and this is just a shitstorm waiting to happen.

9. Is there anything that has made you unhappy recently?
Yes. See previous post for details.

10. What do you want most in life?

Can we put this question on hold until I find out? :)

11. Is being tagged fun?
The fun-ness waxes and wanes but its generally an amusing way to kill time, yes.

12. If you found out that your best friend is going out with your boyfriend/girlfriend, how would you react?

I really can't imagine this happening since my friends are loyalists and one of my best friends is a guy... (THAT would be hella awkward). I'd probably be hurt, angry, and refuse to speak to either of them for quite some time. After I allow them to explain, my bestfriend would probably be let off the hook but I wouldn't be as warm towards the ex-boyfriend anymore.

13. Who is currently the most important person to you?

I don't rank the people in my life, thats sort of a retarded thing to do. If I had to it would probably be my mom though.

14. What kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is?
Oh dear, how to quantify a Crissy? hohumm...She's sweet first and foremost. A wellspring of warmth, love, and affection for her friends and family (who play a huge part in her life) She's generous to a fault even with people she doesn't really care about. At times she can be excitable and obsessive (Regine... cough.. cough) but when you need her to be there for you she sobers up, sits you down, and really, really listens to you. She gives good advice and great hugs too ^.^ She's one of the best kind of friends anyone could ask for. (char char char! virtual hug dear ^.^)

15. Would you rather be single and rich or married and poor?

Can I be middle class and engaged? :) haha but seriously, between the two? Single and rich. Being single is relatively easy to remedy if you ever decide to go that way but poverty puts undue stress on a marriage and I'm just saying that getting married when you aren't able to comfortably support yourselves (or the family you will presumably start) is like shooting yourself in the foot.

16. If the person you secretly like cannot recognize you, what would you do/how would you react?
Re-introduce myself and good-naturedly poke fun at his bad memory. If he consistently fails recognition tests I'd eventually have to declare him a turd for brains.

17. Would you give your all in a relationship?
Of course not. I'd like to think that I'm more well rounded than that. Putting all of your focus on any single thing isn't healthy... moreso for a relationship which, lets face it, isn't the most meritous thing in the world. You'll just end up burning yourself out and getting upset at your partner (who you will probably perceive as not putting as much into the relationship as you ...because he isn't)

18. If you fall in love with two persons simultaneously, who would you pick?
Given that their merits balance out in such a way that it becomes impossible for me to decide in any objective sense and them being equal in all other unquantifiable things... I'd have my family and friends pick who they think is best for me. I trust that they know me and care about me enough to make the right choice when I can't.

19. What type of friends do you like?
Neurotic, interesting, and generally intelligent people. All of my really good friends, the people I click with the most, are at least a little bit of all three :) They're nice too of course, but that's a given really.

20. What's your take on Machiavellian ideals/Would you kill a child to save the world?
(this is my question by the way...I though the pranking one was sort of retarded) This stems from one of the plot lines from "looking for group" a webcomic based on WoW that I follow semi-religiously. Personally, I think Machiavelli had a point and most of us are Machiavellian, if in a bland way, almost every single day. When you tell white lies for example, the morally wrong means of dishonesty are justified by the overall good end of keeping the peace etc. And I know a lot of you're gonna get pissed but yes, I would kill a child to save the world. Not that it wouldn't be hard. I wouldn't be human if it wasn't hard and it's not like I have a god complex or anything. But think of it this way, If I don't kill him/her the world ends and they die anyway.

*shrug* I'm cold and twisted that way I guess (and looking over my other answers, it would seem, completely unromantic as well). Post ends here, since I can't possibly put off histo any longer. I'd actually like people to comment on the last question... I might make a seperate post when there's more time.

Eh? what's this? ...

Sooo...

I find that its easier to make the title of the blog the first word/words of the first sentence than to come up with a proper title for a post whose content is at this point in time unknown to me. Add to that the fact that even when the whole thing is typed out it'll just be random, disjointed and confusiong anyway and you'll probably excuse me for being too lazy to flagellate the squishy mass in my skull into coming out with a proper title.

Also, I found out just the other day that I can't write a comic script for shit. Not that anyone would, actually write a comic script for shit that is... But well yes. I was extremely upset with myself for several hours, as the sudden appearance of a great number of gnaw marks on various objects with me at the time seems to suggests (My ballpen in particular will never be the same again) My childish side emerged and I ended up sulking for a while but I'm over it now. Which means I'll probably try to take another stab at it? -.-; ...and here I thought that I didn't go in for self flagellation...

In case you were wondering, (You probably weren't but that's why I said "in case") I'm trying to write an adaptation for Hans Christian Andersen's "The Tinderbox" for a comic workshop I want to join. It's a terrible story really. A random soldier kills an old lady, then makes off with the cash and her granny's tinderbox. He then proceeds to spend all the money and once broke discovers that the tinderbox summons supernatural doggie servants with freaky eyes. He "falls in love" with a princess and in the end he gets her parents killed, marries the princess and gets himself appointed as king. I know I read it when I was a kid... it just didn't seem so horrifying then. (Isn't that always the way?)

I know what my adaptation will be like, hell I even made character sketches. It's just the actual writing it out that bothered me. Carl had his last week, and we read it, and it was very good. Which only belies the fact that when I reread what I wrote, a blazing red, all caps "CRAP" floats around in my minds eye.

I'm going to start drawing again to make myself feel better. In particular I want to redraw my little experiment from last sem. Shameful and meritless though it was, it made me ridiculously happy. (Though really, its often the meritless things that bring the purest form of simple joy) I'll probably get myself a fresh drawing book for it :) yeay... haha just thinking about preperations already has the corners of my mouth twitching. Or maybe its just the fact that I love buying art supplies..

But before any of that I have to read through about 60 pages of history (;_-_ )<---(this is an upside down -.-;... cuz I supposedly fell over... baaaahhh whatever...) I apologize for the inanity of this post. Particularly to those who were expecting my first post in about 2 weeks (do such people exist??! nah...lol) my internet is shot (again... smart bro is a complete bitch I swear) and RSF is closing soon so I guess this is it for now.

As a last note I'd also like to apologize for all the annoying asides. my thoughts tend to go off on a tangent when I'm stressing.