Long time no see

"Long time no see! How are you?" I don’t know. I never know. Do I have to feel a particular way? Why do you care all of a sudden? I though I was just that annoying little bisdak girl in the front row of the class, mouthing off at inopportune times, never making any sense. Just saying anything and everything and laughing like an idiot when she’s not looking like one.

Why do you care all of a sudden?

I hardly ever see you and you never see me. You know my name but you don’t know me. In the great uproarious turbulence of your life, full of drama and suspense, there is no room for me. You know of me but you do not see me.

I see you.

I see you everywhere. When I turn back towards my table, you are off there in the distance talking to one of your many friends. When I stare out the window trying to daydream of something other than you, you are there. When I stare at the blackboard that for some reason is green I see you.

I see you and I see her.

I do not know her but I see her. I see her whenever I see you. I see her all the time. She is always with you hovering like a protective shield around your person. It wards people off. I cannot get in. I cannot go where I want to go, be where I want to be.

I want to be with you.

I want to be with you, and be where you are. Even though I don’t know where you are or where you are going. I don’t know why you are going, when you are going or who is going to meet you when you get there. But I don’t know where I am going if it is not with you.

With you time stops

When I am with you, when I see you, time stops. There is nothing else, just me looking at you... looking at her. The world stops spinning and my heart stops beating. It stops beating and it starts breaking. It has been breaking for a very long time. I wish that it would finish breaking and just be broken. But it will never stop breaking because you will never see me the way I see you.

Long time no see? I suppose that’s about right isn’t it?