Mortified

As strong and fully descriptive as this word is, I would like to say that it doesnt even come close to describing the utter humiliation and complete irrevocable shame that I am currently experiencing. My sensibilities and pride have been so scandalized that it has become a physical pain.
I was happy believing that I was good at debating. I was happy believing that articulation was one of my strong points. I was happy believing that I would have a bright future in the org.


I just came back from my first ADS session...
I am no longer happy.

Nah, Im just over dramatizing... It went fairly well. I have to admit I did feel a little stupid and as eloquent as a fungus encrusted log but thats to be expected when youre confronted with an actual Team A debater.. No, it was fine. Well, until the last part.


Our last excercise was a mock debate. The 'class' was cut in half and well, the situation was nuclear fallout. Only one of two people would survive this. It was either: Oprah or Glen (the ADS president) We were to debate on who deserved to live. We got Oprah.
3 minutes to make points and 3 minutes to present. My group picked me to debate (curses... I hate being the guniea pig). Now the kicker is that this isnt a debationg exercise. Its an exercise on manner. so while your debating, your facilitator flashes cards at you dictating the manner in which you are to debate. The following appeared:

-Seductive
-Evil
-Holy
-Bratty
-Happy

In that order. seriously speaking I was like what the flipping f***??! The first one threw me off my rocker and I just started yammering and over dramatisizing the whole frigging thing... It was ridiculous... word vomit... I couldnt have stopped myself even of I was aware of what I was doing. 2 seconds after the exercise this is the stream of conciousness that made its way across my mind...



Pistiiii!!! gi-ahak ning adlawa! yawa!!! yatiiii!!! buanga aning giatay na pagka lecheng exercise!!! Maytag mamatay nalang jud ang tanang mga pisting buang sa kalibutan na na lumos sa purigit!



alternating english and bisaya cuss words flying through my mind pushing at the back of my throat eager to be hollered out at the unsuspecting public.
Well, needlessto say, the public was spared my intonations of ire and exasperation.

I will however spend the rest of the night screaming profanities into my spongebob pillow.

series post 1

This will ba part of a series that Ill be posting over the next few weeks... :D
Lalang...

Me:

[_] I am shorter than 5'4.

[_] I think I'm ugly. (not all the time.. :/)

[_] I have many scars.

[x] I tan easily. (I think the word youre looking for is BURN... crispy fried me...)

[x] I wish my hair was a different color. (a lighter brown than it currently is...)

[_] I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color.

[_] I have a tattoo. (I had a henna tattoo once :O)

[x] I am self-conscious about my appearance. (not a whole lot, but you know...)

[_] I have/I've had braces. (I dont care if I might need them...they look painful.. >.<)

[_] I wear glasses.

[_] I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.

[x] I've been told I'm attractive by a complete stranger.

[_] I HAD more than 2 piercings. (I dont even have ear piercings :O)

[_] I HAD piercings in places besides my ears.

[x] I have freckles. (here and there...)

Home sweet home

Theres nothing like waking up in your own bed at 9 in the morning with a cat sitting on your head. Its a really hard feeling to duplicate... (particularly the bit about the cat). So, guess where I am? :) back in Cebu for another weekend!

Truthfully this does complicate my schedule to a certain degree (I cant believe Im missing the A.D.S. intro sem T.T) but if I hadnt come this weekend I wouldnt have been able to go to beagles pre-debut thing... :O nasty nasty videoman-creature....

Seriously though, Im happy I came back. You know the feeling of security you get from being on your own turf? (home court advantage, for all you jocks out there) Yeah... Im feeling that right now. Its (as always) the little things...

You can totter off down to breakfast without worrying where to go, who to go with, and if the friggin caf is even open.

You can walk around in your pajamas.

You know where to find the ketchup.

Its the kind of ketchup you like
(whats the point of knowing where to find ketchup that you dont like??).

You can stay up late without bothering your roommates.

You can wake up late without being bothered by your conscience.

You have ACCESS TO A COMPUTER.

Theres TV.

Its airconed.

Your cats miss you and have been extremely affectionate since your arrival.

Your dog is clean, and is particularly happy to see you
(You can tell when Larry is really happy when his butt wags along with his tail).

Theres a whole bunch of new books that you can 'borrow' from your sister.

All of my art supplies and sketches are here.

The bathroom is not communal.

You can take long showers.

There is a water-heater
(which is the main reason why you take long showers)

You can listen to your music without an ipod.
(the ear thingies get a little irritating after a while)

You get to hug your parents.

You get to bother your siblings.

Your surrounded by the comforting clutter.

Everything is the way it should be.

Its HOME.


Basically... Its just good to be home.

Rain=no classes= POTC!!!!

WALANG PASOK!!!!! *dances around in a little circle* aja!

Just one more reason to love the rain! ^_^ class was suspended as of yesterday afternoon 12:20 pm. I think if I had smiled any wider, or any longer I would have gotten lock jaw... or at least severe facial cramps. We only had ONE class yesterday, rather than 4 :O the gods are smiling down on us! (and drooling heavily resulting in this wonderful weather that we have here :D) as a result of this timely suspension we went to watch POTC!!! *raises rock hands* Yeeeaaahhh!!

Beagle, Patti, Chris and I debated about it over lunch. To go or not to go? there were several problems, including the circulatory reasoning. If Patti didnt go, none of us would go, because welll... basta, we had reasons. If Chris didnt go, I couldnt go, because then I would have to commute back to Ateneo ALONE. (cha, like thats ever gonna happen... Nooooo frigggin way...) If Beagle didnt go, Chris wouldnt go because he didnt want to be the only one risking hs car off in some parking lot. If I didnt go, no one was going because going to POTC was my thing in the first place. If we went to greenhills, beagle wouldnt go (so chris wouldnt go, and I wouldnt go, and Patti wouldnt go alone) If we went to gateway, where everyone else was going then Chris wouldnt go because he feared for his car, and Patti wouldnt go because... thats where certain people would be. and again without chris, I cant go. Basically, it was an all or nothing situatuion. I was getting more and more depressed by the minute. (Johnny Depp 's call would be left unanswered... T.T)

We left the canteen and it seemed like everyone would not be going... T.T my face was so long it could have dragged on the wet muddy ground (effectively scratching it up and getting it infected at the same time giving me tetanus and just one more reason to be miserable) but thanks to a stop over discussion with sila Ystacey, and Ces ("I have three jokes... joke joke joke!...") we finally reached the decision to go by ourselves to Eastwood. YAY!!!

Several things about Eastwood.

1. We found a bookstore that stocks "Lolita" by Vladimir Nabokov, (oi Sir Exie!! ahahaha...) The Wheel of time series by Robert Jordan (with the ORIGINAL COVER ART) and I missed out on the Discworld books by about 3 days (damn the lack of stock!!! T.T) And they have the Bartimaeus trilogy as well... In a "shrunken" version. I really liked that bookstore!!! as in... *spaces out with a vague smile of happiness on face* hhhhaaahhhaaaaayyyy.... ^_^ Patti, (by my recommendation of course) bought 'All American Girl'. Its chick lit I know, but its GOOD. so there.

2. Patti had not yet eaten, ad so we went around looking for somewhere to eat....
Guess who we saw riding in front of us on the escalator?...


John Lloyd Cruz.


AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*runs around in freak out mode*
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
so gwapo... *blanks out with dreamy look on face*
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

3. We found a nice place to eat, some sort of italian food place, (although Patti admittedly dislikes pasta, she chose to eat here anyway) we spent about an hour laughing like lunatics while we talked of... things... (phallic, yonic.... >_<) and most of all, over how Beagle ate the bread sticks nonstop. We kept calling the bread basket man over to the table to replenish the stock ^_^ it was hilarious... (Or it was to us in any case ^_^) They also had bottomless Pepsi... which I think I had a liiiiiiittttllle too much of.

It finally came time to watch the movie and on our way back, who do we see standing there in front of the escalator but zee pipul who were suppossed to be in gateway!! :O They had come over to eastwood (for reasons we shall speculate over outside of this public blog... ;p Paaattttiiii!) but had booked tickets for the movie 30 minutes later. sayang!! Kuyog unta tang tanan... anyway, we only met them in passing since well, I was on a Pepsi sugar rush and didnt really register their appearance, and the movie was starting in 5 minutes....

The movie itself was good. but SSSSSOOOOOOO BITIN!!!! I wont mention any more about it in case any one hasnt watched yet. I refuse to be a spoiler.

Right after a mad dash to the restroom (again... too much pepsi) we all went home in high spirits :D Chris drove Patti and me back to Ateneo so I didnt have to commute (thank God!!)

this seems to be an extremely long post already so I think I should cut it here.... O_O :D
ahahahah.... sorry for the prattle people! Its just what I do... ;P

-prosepusher-

stolen entry...

Copy-pasted out of Mark's blog ;)

1. Of your name?

Candice and Louie are derived from the names of my grandmothers, Morgan is because Im year of the horse (trivia: Morgan is a large pony)... the others are just because my parents thought they were pretty ^_^;

2. Of your parents?

My Dad is a Cebuano with relatives practically everywhere, who spent his childhood in the U.S. and my Mom is a Cebuana with roots in Bacolod I think... they met at a photoshoot, he gave her peanuts... :O

3. Of your last birthday?

2nd to the last day in Cebu. went to all my favorite places and ate all my favorite Cebuano food... got Herbie, (my frog) and Sheryl (my ipod)... last minuet packing for Manila. bittersweet day...

4. Of your first love?

I dont know about LOVE... but my first 'crush' was in grade1 yata... felmar cruz, -.-; dont ask for elaboration...

5. Of your room?

My dorm room has 4 beds, 1 ref, 4 closets, 4 cubbyholes, 4 study tables, 4 fans, a whole mess of bags, clothes and books. and three other people in it :)

6. Of last Christmas?

Had relatives over... wanted to shoot a particular one before the end of the evening. :) my affection is limited to 1st degree relatives.

7. Of last Valentines day?

Lalang... regular day. I got myself one of the chocolate flowers that they were selling at the canteen... :D yummmm....

8. Of your current clothes?

maong capris my floppy 'dept. of mental health... patient' shirt, my trusty black jacket, socks, undies, and the high cut chucks I wore to last year's prom. ;)

9. Of the first time you saw your crush?

ORSEM 06-07... -.-; hehehe... pwede mag-shift?? ^_^

10. Of you and your best friend/s?

My current bestfriends kay, sila Beagle, Patti, Chris and Irish :O

--->bonding with Patti over a secret and charicatures on the second day of ORSEM, bonding with beagle and Irish on SOM night, additional Beagle bonding because of.. 'bata' ;p bonding with chris on the third day of ORSEM as English blockmates (ballroom dancing!!! ;))

11. Of the last place you went to?

Ummm... back to my dorm room after showering??

12. Of the last time you cried?

June 12, 2006... On the drive to the airport.

13. Of your greatest achievement so far?

??? Uhmmmmmm.... getting into BMH?? I dunno... :O

14. Of the last movie you watched?

Failure to Launch, watched it again with Jenny and Joan last night sa dorm... ;) mwahahahaha....

And so it continues...

This is fun... really it is! :) Im in much better spirits than yesterday so I come to spread the happiness!! wooooohoooo!!! Yeah! *raises rock hands to the sky* :O... lalang...

Ive finally resigned myslef to my fate and I dont feel quite so bad about it now. I have a problem, steps are being taken to correct it. No biggie. not really. >_< *shakes head* bleeeccchhhkkk... moving on with our lives...

Now, you may all be wondering what triggered this sudden change in mood (or you might not, but if youre reading this I feel obliged to bother you with the reason anyway...) The answer ladies and gentlemen is simply this. I FOUND A COOL BOOK!!!! Yaaaaayyyyyy!!!! See? I take pleasure in the little things. which subsequently turn into big things for me :O lalang.. I find that books are a sure fire way to make me happy. Hence the screen name prosepusher... I get something like a lit high. Its like my equivalent of drugs... hahaha... O_O Oh yes, the book that Im reading right now is called "Last Cantata" by Philip Deliesis (or something like that, the guy has a wierd name...) its ssssoooooooo cooool.... :O or it is for me anyway... it flashes back and forth in time, telling the story of the great composers and their "secret" to great music... It starts off with Bach then Mozart, Beethoven, Wagner, Mahler... thats as far as Ive gotten. basta!!! I loike eeett... reeeallly Oiiiii doooooo :D (ngek, mole speak...)

oooohhh... would you look at that, Freddy Mercury just walked by...

Not the REAL Freddy Mercury, (Well yeah Im psychotic, but delusions aren't one of the manifests...) Im reffering to Mark's friend... the one we met in McDo last saturday. I dont know his real name, so Freddy's as good as any dont you think? The resemblance is striking. Except for the poofy hair and the 'bandanna' (fo lack of a better term) and stuff, and he doesnt appear to be gay... but seriously, hed probably win first prize in a look alike contest. I wonder if he plays the piano/guitar/ sings.... that would be cool...

Speaking of bands, I joined the Finance dept of AMA. Everyone else is in Enstrat but I dont really care... they have all kinds of cool projects, (fundraisers, and the like...) One of which was a concert, pina battle of the bands style I think??? I dunno... It sounded really fun :O besides if I stayed with the Q1 people all the time (lovely as we all are...) Im pretty sure theyd get tired of having me around... One of the reasons I gave for "why should we not pick you for AMA?" was that Im overly cheerful. Ive learned from experience that this bugs a lot of people. *shrugs* Ive been working on that, really I have, but I still come off as a bright sunny pain in the ass...

.............................................


Do you know what I just realized? The more tim I spend here... the less time I have with that book I told you about. Nooooooooooooo!!!

blog?

book?

blog?

book?



DUHHHH!!!
.....................................

-prosepusher-

In answer to my random question

The answer to the random question for your profile can only be 150 characters... I dont think a story that short would dp justice to the tale of theodore (or satisfy the children for that matter) sooooo... for the children's (and child minded) sake, here is the story of the frog with a wig.

........
Once upon a time there was a three eyed bullfrog named Theodore... He was strange, not because he had three eyes (thats 'special') but because he had the feeling that a colony of aliens would one day plummet from the sky and invade his mind.

Theodore felt that the only way to stop this from happening was to sheild his head and 'hide' it from the evil aliens. So he got a wig. Now, this was no ordinary wig! It was a wig made by the nasal fairies by the light of the gibbous moon from the nose hairs of the great Shalarahooorah. this wig possessed the amazing power of immediate and prolonged itchiness. which by the way was an intresting predicament for a frog to have since their flippers arent very good for scratching around with.

The other frogs thought that Theodore was foolish for having this wig, and willingly subjecting himself to daily itchiness just to hide his scalp. Theodore bore their insults, knowing that one day the aliens would come... one day, they would take over the mind of every amphibian on earth, upsetting the ecological balance, and thrusting the world into utter chaos!!!


Its been 28 years. The aliens have yet to appear. and Theodore is always itchy...


For those of you (Jomar....) who need a moral for the story, it is this...

>> make sure you get a wig that isnt itchy. O_o;

.......bow......


-prosepusher-

And so it begins

Here I am... sitting in front of a blankety screen, typing on a sticky keyboard, trying to put my thoughts in to words... Understandable words. I COULD just start speaking in bisaya (or heck, make a whole new language all together) but somehow that seems to defeat the purpose of the blog yes?

Walay gamit kung mag yawyaw nalang ko ngari nga puro bisaya, ma sapot unya mo nako kay ala moy nasabtan sa akong pag blog. Right?

Indeed...

It is currently 5:18 according to the clock on the wall in front of me. I was suppossed to meet someone named Charm from ES nearly a hour ago. she said she would text. She has not. therefore I am here! In the lib... (aja!) It has occurred to me that I havent blogged in over a month... possibly approaching two but hey, Im not keeping count so what would I know? Im not feeling quite so eloquent today (but according to our Eng 12 class---> like hell thats going to stop me!) my blog... my time... my nonsense and/or crap... your problem for sticking around to read it >_<

Sorry... were a weeeee bit unhappy today... (and by we, I mean me, and the voices in my head) I suppose Im not adjusting to this whole "college experience" as well as I should be. wouldnt it be helpful if someone could just come over and bitch slap some sense into me? Ahhhh... If only it were that easy... Clarity, but a bitch slap away... I suppose the person who does the bitch slapping would probably require huge hands and humongous biceps to be able to whack that much of a change into my noggin... Hmmmm what if I put up an ad in the classifieds? Senseless girl seeking large handed, muscular armed individual to bitchslap sense into her. No previous experience required. Or I could just hire someone to shoot me in the back of my head while Im not looking... O_O Its a pretty neat way to go... Lalalalalalalalalalala.... Bang.


Theoretically; Im dead now and it would be awkward if I kept blogging... me being dead and all.... you know... yeah...


time of death: 5:34 pm


I'll probably have to be resurected for school tomorow though...

Math...

Fil...

Damn.....


-prosepusher-